a letter to Tulio
by mrs-tsuki
Summary: "I would give away all the gold there is just to have jumped on that ship that took you away  ...  Now it's too late, isn't it, Tulio? It's been over a year you left."


_Eldorado, March 13th 1520_

Dear Tulio,

How is everything doing in Spain? Have you and Chel found a place to stay yet? I suppose she would love Madrid or Seville… actually, not Seville… just remembered we're wanted there. Remember? We tore down the market place, because I inadvertently opened the gate of those bulls'corral. I mean… like you said: "Who keeps the _toros_ in the middle of the city", right? But seriously, you should take Chel to see Barcelona sometime… in the springtime, who knows? Like those days when we managed to drink, what? Three, four bottles of wine while watching the sunset from the harbor, at night we would just lay there, look at the stars and talk about the future and then, we would play _serenatas_ for pretty much every window or balcony we saw… it seems so distant now, doesn't it?

Just these days I was watching some native teenager boys play in front of the temple and I remembered our childhood… Oh God… how many bones have we broken trying to climb trees, ride wild horses, walk on the rooftops, climb statues. Oh, which reminds me, they built a statue of you on what used to be the gates of Eldorado… actually, you became a legend here… the way you managed to climb at the mast and unwind the topsail just in time... people here are saying that you and I were actually two parts of the same great god… as if you were the spiritual part that ascended back to the skies and I was the earthly part… left here to look after the people. If only I could take care of myself…

So, things here are pretty much the same… but ever since the gate was closed, the hunters began to chase after local animas, people are beginning to think there won't be enough food for the next generations… Well, I'm not concerned about that, off course. They have a new High Priest here and he seems like a more reasonable guy… even Chief Tani gets along with him well... yep. That's pretty much everything that happened since you left. Not that I'm complaining or anything. I don't regret my decision to stay… El Dorado is indeed a wonderful place. Especially at nighttime… my new hobby is to lie down at the temple's hall right underneath the spot you made an enormous hole in the roof ( How on earth did you do that, again? Chief Tani asked me but I didn't remember. He said he would have it fixed for me. But I don't want anyone to change the things you did… specially the hole in the roof.) I look up and It seems to me that all the stars of the universe are gathered in the sky… and I'm no scientist or anything but I can't stop but wonder… at least one of those stars must have been on the skies of Barcelona we used to watch together.

Everything was happier when we were partners, you know… I guess the thing I loved most about this city was the journey it took us to get here. Together. Here I have more gold than all Europe united. But what good can this gold do me? Gold isn't what makes my life rich. But then again, I already told you this. I would give away all the gold there is just to have jumped on that ship that took you away. And every time I go to sleep I watch that scene in my mind like a horror movie. I should have gone with you, I could have gone with you. Now I can't go anywhere anymore… and my last words to you echo in my ears like a death sentence "I wish you luck"… I wish I could take them back. There's so much trapped in my chest I should have said to you. Actually, I've had had so many things to say to you ever since we met, and it would be impossible to me to say half of those things even if we had a week to say goodbye.

Now it's too late, isn't it, Tulio? It's been over a year you left. You'll be thirty tomorrow… I can't believe I won't be there to hug you, and get you drunk. Actually, I'm not going to be a part of anything in your life anymore, am I? and it's killing me. Soon you'll be holding your first son (if you aren't already a father)… and I can't believe I won't be there to see your child. I bet he (or she) will have your eyes. I bet you'll be a wonderful father. Afterall, you always took so good care of me… I don't think I've ever thanked you enough for that.

Thank you.

Thank you for being the best friend there ever was. Thank you for such good memories. Thank you for being the little voice in my head, when you knew I didn't have one. Thank you for laughing at my jokes. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for lettin' me in your life. Thank you for making my life rich.

And about the last words I would say to you… I think by now they 've become predictable enough... but what's the point in writing them here? No one is ever going to read this letter… It is not only me that is trapped in this hidden city, but also my thoughts, my feelings and my dreams…

But somehow, when I look to that great big starry sky through the damage you did to the roof (as if you predicted one day my life would depend on it) my heart sends me to a happy place again. A place we're together. A place we never have to say goodbye to anyone… and even if there was a need for us to say goodbye, I would have the decency of telling you "I love you" before it was too late.

I'll love you more than anything in my life.

I miss you more than anything in my life.

Miguel


End file.
